Leap Day!

I really wanted to post on leap day since it doesn't come around that often (every four years to be exact)...but I don't really have anything to write about. So I'll tell you a quick story about my dermatologist.

I have had the same derma doctor since I was in highschool. He's an old Russian dude that still has a thick accent even though he's been living here for quite awhile.

A couple of years ago I went to see him about my splotchy hands and arms, which turned out to be hives. His solution to my problem was a shot in the butt once a week for three weeks.

Okay. I can do a quick shot in the butt.

So I pull my pants down for him and he slaps my ass while at the same time administering the shot. Deflection from the sharp sting, he says.

We did that three times. It was good stuff...and not weird at all...

Happy Leap Day!

Chelsea Handler

I boycotted the name “Chelsea” for over four years [for reasons I refuse to disclose publicly] and avoided anything that had to do with it, if possible. Even the airplane that landed in the Hudson a few years ago--the pilot’s name was Chesley and that was too close, so I didn’t read any news articles and avoided broadcasts dealing with that situation as well.

By doing so, I had to cut ties with Chelsea Handler. Our relationship was so strong (as I was sure to never miss an episode of her prank show Girls Behaving Badly) so you can imagine how hard that was on me. And Chelsea. I really enjoy when people look stupid, so her show was one of my favorites. [To this day, however, I have not seen an episode of her talk show, but I plan to rectify that immediately…well, soon…well, maybe, I have a lot on my DVR right now]

Anyway…

Last week, I saw that movie This Means War with Ms. Witherspoon and Chelsea played her best friend. I was stuck there, couldn’t avoid her, had to watch…and wasn’t disappointed.

I had no idea what I was missing. I feel like the last four years of my life have been empty without her and now I have to play speed-round catch up. I started by downloading her book Are you there vodka? It’s me, Chelsea and it took me all of 1.5 days to finish it.

Laugh out loud at a book? Are you kidding me? Well…it happened.

Chelsea Handler is my hero. She is bold. She is mean. She can be a little racist. Above all, though…Chelsea Handler is flipping hilarious. Hello! She even did an entire chapter on a midget and shares all of my feelings about dogs, it’s fantastic. My Horizontal Life is next in the queue and I can hardly wait to delve into that one.

Jesus Bird

Background: The city of Oklahoma City has built a beautiful new highway for commuters passing through the area and it opened this past Sunday. It has been in the works for years now and the downtown workers (thousands upon thousands of us) have used the old highway to get to and from home. Since opening the new highway, the old one has been completely shut down, making it extremely inconvenient for us to leave downtown in a timely manner -- or any manner -- with its TWO on ramps for use...based almost a mile out of the downtown area. (To be fair, they are building some boulevard to take us into downtown--however, that will not be ready for 18 long months.) Needless to say, I am not a fan and I think that the planning committee is ridiculous for doing this to so many workers. At least shut down cross streets to get us to and on the highway. Ridiculous!

So, with that said, I was having difficulty on Monday trying to get on the highway and i facebooked about my frustrations.

I got a comment from a friend:

"I guess you used the entrance over by the Jesus House"

It was awhile before I saw said comment and was finally on the highway, going 70 mph...perfect time to check facebook...and so I replied to her comment:

"I don't know where Jesus lives"

IMMEDIATELY after hitting send, a bird hits my winshield. Not bird crap. Not a tiny little sparrow or robin. A giant pigeon-like bird. Dead center of my windshield.

If that is not divine intervention, I don't know what is. I was very fortunate in that my windshield did not break--and the bird guts were minimal, although still there (oops)...and the lesson learned? Jesus knows when I'm kidding around. He knows that I love him and I'm a huge fan...but he does not want me joking around about him in a public forum. *Noted*.

I'm just so glad he didn't send an ostrich down from the sky :) That would have been hard to come back from.

Runner Girl

A little over a year and a half ago, I was reading my Shape Magazine, looking for inspiration to lose those pesky 15 pounds I had gained over the years. There was a little blip about belly fat--a tiny paragraph--that said the best way to lose it is to strap on your running shoes and hit the pavement. So I did just that.

36 pounds later, I'd say that running has been a great success to me. To my body, my confidence, my health...and may have attributed a little to my narcissim, but that's a separate post entirely ;)

Over the past year and a half, I have signed up for numerous 5K's supporting any cause available--girl scouts, breast cancer, battered women--and also did fun events like the McNellie's Pub Run (where you drank a pint of Guinness after every mile) and the Warrior Dash (mud, water, obstacles...mud!)

Running is amazing. Not only for the body, but for the mind. When I am pushing through a tough run, all I have to do is think about the endorphins that come at the end, when the mission is complete, and I feel like I am on cloud nine.

It's been an incredible experience and, although I have the occasional leg pains, I am very fortunate to be able to continue a sport like this in my ripe old age of 31. My next race is in March for St. Paddy's day and I'm very excited to wear all of my green, my shamrocks, rock the green hair extenstions...and try to beat my previous recorded 5K time (which I set over Turkey Day!).

Here is a picture of me after the Warrior Dash in Tulsa on September 24, 2011. It was a bit chilly and I'm soaking wet--but look! I got a medal and a cute hat! [also...as a side note...i am over 10 pounds lighter than in this picture as well. Goodness, I love running! Wait. Re-do. I love the results I obtain from running.]

**Jadyn Dances**

Here is a Lopez video pulled from the vault. When my daughter was a little over a year old, she took a bath. She danced. She fell. It was pretty cute. Enjoy!

Midget Porn

I have a friend who seems to think that there are hundreds--no, thousands--of people that do online searches for midget porn. Personally, I have never done a search for midget pornography, but I'm a girl and my mind is wired way different than a male.

So this post is dedicated to my social experiment about that.

21,614

Friendship Review 2012

A good friend is really hard to find and, as I get older, I'm finding it harder and harder to find someone who fits the mold. Of course, I've been told that I'm an elitist when it comes to certain things; however, I find that my definition of friendship is not unreasonable:

A true friend is someone you can always count on. Someone you can confide in and who is loyal--a true friend is someone you can trust. And vice versa on all of that. (and when it comes to loyalty, I am the best of friends--I will go to bat for any one of my little chickens!)

I got married really young and together we made friends. But sometimes marriages don't always work out and friends feel as if they need to pick one person over the other, while repeating over and over "I'll be both of your friends--separately". Yeah--that doesn't work so much. Let's just say that I was apparently not the 'fun' half of my marriage...which is sad because I loved so many of our couple friends.

So I've made a decision. Make new friends. I can do this, right? Join clubs. Go out, meet people? There's just one problem: I'm a total introvert, so the task ahead will be extremely difficult.

The thing is...the friends I do have? Amazing. Some of my favorites are at work with me--and I get to spend a mandatory 40-hours a week with them. So that's fun-- unless I become good friends with someone of the opposite sex and then there is gossip everywhere and people start judging--to the point where I feel I need to cut ties. Or maybe a friend whose reputation isn't stellar and I get lumped into the negative with her just because she's one of my favorite people.

Why should I let society dictate who I am friends with? If nothing bad is going on, if nobody is getting hurt...why should I cut off a friend if I'm actually happy?

I don't want to, but it seems almost inevitable, really.

I lost my best friend in the whole world last year. My best friend of 13 years--the person who was always there, who loved me despite everything and was loyal to a tee. I lost him because I'm a selfish bitch, I get that. Filling that hole in my heart feels impossible...but it would be nice to have friends that were always there. Who didn't flake. Who weren't fake and didn't pretend to be something they are not.

Hell...I need a chicken who will jump on a plane with me and have a carefree weekend in Vegas...we will call it "therapy"!

This post turned pretty bleak, didn't it? It wasn't supposed to be some depressing rant...and it wasn't supposed to be a match.com for friendship either. I just have so much bottled up inside and this is barely a glimpse. But it's what i'm dealing with at this moment...so there ya go.

Welcome to 2012...

2011 wasn't a great year for me, so I have decided that I am going to be a force in 2012. I've had great momentum these past 9 days, so if I can keep it up for the next 356...this year will be phenomenal!

Every year starts with resolutions and this is the first year in over a decade that I don't have "weight loss" in any way, shape or form on my list. I've managed to fill that void with other, more challenging items.

1. Read the Bible. If 2012 is going to be the last year of planet Earth, I need to catch up and see where I am going. Heaven seems pretty cool, so I would like to meet the people who I will see there through God's word. I purchased one of those 365-day bibles and so far I've done very well...all 9 days of the year well.

2. History Intellectual Devotional Readings with Jadyn. What a better way to spend quality time with your daughter than with education? We have a book that has interesting facts about a person/place/event in history that is divided so that you read about one thing each day. So far we've learned quite a bit about Slavery, Tobacco, The Pequot Indians, etc. I really enjoy when we come across a subject that Jadyn has learned in school and she can relate what she's learned with what we are reading.

3. Blogging. I put this on my list because it will be a challenge to even do a post/month. So we'll see if my life events of 2012 will help me to keep up with this blog!

4. Maintain My New Body/Run More. I worked incredibly hard to actually hit my weight loss goal that I am going to need to put in the time and effort to maintain my new body. Instead of "Operation Dumbo Drop" there on the side of my blog, I have put a Maintaining Log for 2012. This is kind of a two-fold resolution in the fact that I'd really like to add up my running miles this year and try to beat my goals every month. This is the resolution I am most excited about and I pray that my old 31 year old muscles will help me achieve this goal. We shall see...

5. Career. Here is a resolution I have every year. I really need to decide what I want to 'be' when I grow up. My B.A. is in English Literature, but my job has nothing to do with that. I would really like to figure out something that really moves me, motivates me, pushes me forward. I feel like I'm in kind of a slump...so whether this means finding a new job or going back to school to get an alternative degree, I'd really like to figure something out. A change will do me good, right?

6. Books. Read more for leisure.

I heard on the radio the other day that the average person lasts 22 days on New Year Resolutions. So the way I see it, if I hit 23 days, I'm already above average; however, I don't want to sell myself short. There may be times when I want to just throw in the towel, but I am hoping to overcome those brief moments of weakness and go all the way.

It's never too late to change.

Book - Shadow of the Wind

With more time on my hands lately, I have been reading more. The latest book that I finished is called Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruis Zafon. The novel is about a young boy who discovers a book by an unknown author, falls in love with it and tries to find out WHO the author is and why all of his other works have been intentionally destroyed. Along with his answers, he unravels an old love story and tragedy.

The read was exhilarating, the author's words were poignant, powerful. This book was given to me by a friend last Christmas and I am ashamed that it took me almost a year to indulge in it. It is a marvelous read.

2011 - The Bad and the Ugly

2011 has been a really bleak year for me. I don't usually like to come on here and flaunt the negatives in my life, but I feel so completely unstable right now that I might as well.

Our troubles started at the end of May...two weeks into my daughter's summer vacation. She fell off of her bike into an embankment of rocks resulting in a broken arm that not only needed a cast, but surgery that included pins in her elbows. The hour and a half that her father and I waited for her to get out of surgery was tense, but despite a summer spent on the couch, everything turned out okay.

Here is Jadyn in the emergency room right after it happened:



Here is Jadyn with her cast:



Here is one of the pins that Jadyn had lodged in her arms for four weeks:



The next ugly event that happened in my life...well, I don't want to talk about it still. But it's a big one and it makes me very, very sad...and recovery from it will take years and maybe therapy.

Finally, this past weekend, I got rear ended on the highway and my car, that was 7 months away from being paid off, was badly injured. I think that dealing with the insurance company of the person that hit me has been the most stressful situation of my entire life. I don't know why they think it is okay for a person--who is not at fault in the matter--to go days (I'm on day 5 now) without transportation. I have a 15 mile drive to and from work daily. I have errands to run, shopping to do, a kid to cart around. I am going to have to take on a brand new car payment eventually--and we can't even get the ball rolling until the responsible party admits fault. They will not answer their telephone calls and they will not call in and file a claim. The police report won't be ready for 30 days, according to the trooper who is to file it. I am beyond stressed out, I cry all the time, it is all so overwhelming and I feel so...alone.

To top it off, my body shop says they think it will be totaled; HOWEVER, they cannot even look at the car until the insurance company contacts them...and the insurance company will not contact them until they have "proof" that their client was at fault.

My Car:





So...maybe...now that I've gotten that all out there...I will feel better about it. Writing it out doesn't seem as bad as it does in my head...nobody died and everything will be fixed in due time (just like Jade's arm)...but why can't I keep from crying every second of the day?

Turkey Day 2011

This is how I started Thanksgiving 2011:



2011 Turkey Trot 5K

My time: 28:19

I felt really good about stuffing my face after slaughtering my previous 5K record!

So Much Change...

Wow would you look at that. It's been one year, one month and two days since my last post...I'm actually surprised I remember the password to this whole blogger.com thing!

So much has changed since October 2010. Some good, some bad...all different.

On the plus side? I've lost quite a bit of weight--which was a constant struggle that I wrote about often...and I run all the freaking time now.

...and i'm old now...

My favorite part of having kept a blog oh-so-long ago? It's when I make new friends...and they discover it (some having known about it for awhile, but waiting for the perfect time to pounce with the information)...and make comments to me about it. That's awesome. So, thank you for that and you know who you are.

So...Happy Thanksgiving 2011...Merry Christmas and have a Brilliant New Year!



LOVE,

BTTW - Halloween 2010

Due to scheduling conflicts, we celebrated Halloween a bit early with games, beer and party people! Hubs made his own costume (a sock monkey, in case you have never seen one before) and won 1st in our contest. I went cute, traditional Strawberry Shortcake. We had so much fun with our people--and we partied the night away!
Hubs and Me:

A few of our ladies:

Book Club - The Help by Kathryn Stockett

Our book club book is reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett this month--and I'm jumping the gun by posting this so early since we don't meet until mid-November, but I have to pimp this book out. It is amazing. It is a story told in three points of view about African American maids in the early 1960's. I couldn't put this book down--it was amazing and I hope everybody in the world reads it and enjoys it as much as I did!!!

Let's Play Catch Up!

The past four months have been filled with work, kickball, soccer, 5K's, tennis, book club, new school year, birthdays, friends and babies! With all of that on my plate, I have found it hard to sit down and blog, although I miss it dearly.

Important Lopez points are below:

Our Summer Kickball team had our best season yet, even getting 2nd place in the league tournament. Go Balls!

Hubs and I ran the 5K Midnight Streak and were pretty pleased with our times, considering we went in blind, without training for months!

Hubs and I ran the Tulsa Race for the Cure--and I got my best time ever in a 5K, which was a very big deal for me.

One of my besties had a baby girl that I adore and a month and a half later, my sister-in-law had her second son who I lurve sooo much!

Hubs and I spent hours and hours playing tennis--during the extreme summer temperatures, we played around 10pm - midnight and that was much fun.

After quite the hiatus, I finally picked up the leisurely art of reading again and have read many books--having just finished the trilogy by Steig Larsson, who wrote The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Oh…and best of all I have lost 12 pounds!!! Hard core diet and exercise--no pills, no boot camp and no bucket list to aide in my progress.

Here is what October 2010 has in store for us [in order]: Saturday football for Hubs, weekly kickball, Daughter's birthday, another 5K, trip to Six Flags, Hubs birthday, Halloween Party, Stepson's birthday, Halloween! Hopefully I'll be a good blogger and update as the events occur, rather than four months later…

I mean, I must, though, if you are going to see my Halloween costume, right? The first time I've REALLY dressed up in YEARS!

And if you missed my birthday party post, please see below!