Lopez A Mean Girl? No Effing Way!

Below are three statements said to me within the last month:

“You do realize that you would have more friends if you weren’t so mean, right?”

“You and your two buddies are known as the ‘mean girls’ around here…and I’m sorry to say it, but you’re sort of the ringleader—the one who pulls the strings.”

“Daniel Tosh and Chelsea Handler are your two favorite comedians? That makes sense—they are just as mean as you are.”

Well, isn’t this quite the revelation to the sweet little girl from Oklahoma who is so shy and quiet it would be hard for anyone to form an opinion about her—but alas! It has happened and I am apparently a super bitch. Hooray for that…?

I will admit that sometimes I make not-so-nice comments about people I don’t know that are either getting on my nerves or are inconveniencing me in some manner… and occasionally I might throw a stereotype in a conversation—but only for shock value, nothing more.

It is very rare that I am mean to somebody’s face—and in those few situations, it is probably warranted. I don’t walk around with my nose stuck in the air thinking I am better than you [which I most likely am anyway] and after 10 am every morning, I am a bowl of rainbows and sunshine.

The one thing I do love is when people look stupid. I can’t help it if I am smarter than you and it is easy for me to set you up to fail in front of people that matter. That is not my fault. Let’s just call it a ‘learning opportunity’…and I’m the teacher.

That does not make me mean.

Here is one thing I could think of that may have made me mean--ONE TIME. When I was a teenager, I told my best friend that her fat, gay father looked like a child molester. That might have been mean, but I was a kid [who ultimately lost her best friend...Meh…it happens.]

So maybe I lack a filter.

I’m not a mean girl. I’m just a girl without a filter.

Yes. Let’s go with that.