Groundhog Day 8K - February 2, 2013

While that Pennsylvania rodent was inquiring about his shadow, my friend Monica and I were tackling our second 8K together in Yukon, Oklahoma.  Although beautiful, sunny and clear, the temperature was frigid and layers were necessary; however, a little over halfway through the run, I was forced to start peeling off bits and pieces of my clothes.

Over the past few weeks I had been somewhat training for this run by increasing my treadmill miles.  My efforts were not in vain, as my time decreased by 8 minutes from my first 8K.  EIGHT minutes...that is an incredible feat.  I am currently in fifth place of the 2013 Frozen Nose Series--down three spots from my first race--and I couldn't be happier.  My final race is in two weeks, the Queen of Hearts 10K, so I better lace up those Mizunos and git-git!

On a somber note, I would like to reflect on a man that ran the Groundhog 8K yesterday morning.  I do not know his age or the specifics surrounding the event, but between 2K and 3K he somehow collapsed to the ground and the paramedics performed CPR on him for awhile--to no avail.  This man, who I imagine woke up optimistic about running a race, did not get up from the ground and my thoughts and prayers are with his family. 

'Let it Go'

Oh man...what kind of dark hole did I fall into last week?  I'm glad it was shallow enough for me to crawl out of quickly and work my way towards recovery!

Normally, I would delete something crazy like that...but its existence will act as a reminder to me that not everything is hearts and rainbows...and no matter how low I get or how bad I feel...everything will get better over time.

The thing is...for quite sometime I have been smitten with a person who I revered as perfection...and his constant rejection and the negative comments he spits at me have worn me down...Worn me down to that last post. 

If ever there was an untrue post...it would be the one I wrote about "Loser".  One of the comments posted on there really made me see that.

I have overcome so much.  I really have.  Anybody who fails to recognize this is neither worth my time nor my energy.

Getting through every minute with a broken heart and a sick stomach is so hard...but not as hard as the last minute.

My friends.  I love them.  They are amazing, they are always there for me...they know exactly what to say...and without them...who knows where I would be!

and where I am...is in a really good place! :)

Loser

Throughout my online diary (b/c lets face it, that's what this is), I have sugar coated my entire life.  All of my situations have had positive spins on them and I like to avoid mentioning the negative situations in my life.  Maybe if I don't write about it, it will go away...it doesn't exist, right?

Hogwash.

Sure I am a runner...and I am getting better at it and doing it a lot more...and I am honestly trying to pick up the pieces of my life and start over.  I can't do that alone--but my support system is weak.  Thank GOD I'm in therapy, or I wouldn't know what to do.  I am in school to get my Masters degree. My friends--few, but close--are amazing and that's about where the truth ends I suppose.

Here is me in real life:

I am a loser.  I am a loser who got pregnant at 19 and instead of doing regular college stuff, I took care of a baby, worked full time and still managed to get my degree.  I'm a loser who married my baby's father.  I am a loser who let him cheat on me for over a year and took him back...which consequently ended in his doing the worst thing any husband can do to a wife, which I am still unable to put into words.  I am a loser who is now 32 and divorced.  I am a loser who, instead of going to law school and becoming an independent person, decided that my daughter needed me around and I couldn't risk the time away from her while maintaining a full time job.  I am a loser who has fat girl mentality.  I am a loser who has a job as a glorified secretary and is going no where.  I am a loser who for some reason desperately wants someone to care about me, so much so that I repeatedly dive into a situation that I know is going to hurt me in the end.  Repeatedly.  I am a loser because I fell in love with the worst kind of guy--one that will never love me back, will never care about me, will never be my friend.  I am a loser because some of the things that this guy says makes me think maybe one day he will change...and then I fall hard back onto the ground.  I'm a loser because I think that there really might be something more out there, but there isn't...I'm a loser because I've selfishly spiraling in my own life and neglected my beautiful and incredibly smart daughter to a degree.  I'm a loser because I'm not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough...my boobs are too small...went to the wrong universities...hang with the wrong crowd.

In therapy, we have covered high school mentality ('is everyone judging me??') and abandonment issues (please don't leave me, treat me however you want, just stay)...but I'm pretty sure I'm no closer to happiness than I was the first day I stepped into her office.

I am a loser...like Penny in Happy Endings...I am a loser with ugly friends...I am a loser because my family isn't super wealthy...I'm a loser...I am.

And there's the truth, folks.  Candid.  My weaknesses exposed to you--something I vowed never to do.  I only want to look back on my online diary (blog, whatever) and see the good things I've accomplished and how happy they made me...but with the good comes the bad, I guess.

Whatever.  It is what it is...I can sit on it and mope about it or I can try to move forward and fix it.  I choose change...starting now.  For real.

Therapy Therapy Therapy!!! I should probably go back to weekly sessions...I'm really effed up! :)

2013 Goals for this Runner Girl

I started this year with wide eyes and determination.  I made life goals, 2013 goals and running goals.  It is the 21st day of the year and, so far, everything remains on track--and I am optimistic that I will not falter.

My ultimate goal in life is to find a sense of happiness.  I aim to achieve this through bi-weekly therapy sessions and repeating the mantra "Let It Go" through my head any time that I feel the anger building up.  So far, it has worked--I particularly use this method during rush hour traffic.  It's AMAZING how well it works.  A smaller, and probably less practical, method I am using is listening to classical music all day during work.  I read that it is supposed to soothe the mind and bring calmness and peace.  Sign me up!

Another goal that I have set for myself is to obtain my Master's degree.  I started my first class last week and I've never been more excited to be in school.  After a 10 year absence, it is thrilling to sit in a classroom and talk about something you are passionate about (Literature).  There are a number of directions I could take after receiving my degree--one of them being the fact that I accomplished something just for me--but I don't know which route I would like to take yet.

Finally...for 2013...I would like to increase my running ability, depending on how my body reacts to longer distances.  I have signed up for a Half Marathon in March, located in Dallas, Texas, in which I am by no means ready.  The Frozen Nose series that I am participating in (5K/8K/10K) is what I am using to help increase my distance for a full 13.1 miles.  I have other 5K's that I will be running to maintain my stamina and I have amazing running friends and groups that help to keep me on my toes.

So...2013 has only just begun but my outlook is one of optimism and hope.

 

HBD, Little Indian :)

Towards the end of last year, I became closer to one of my acquaintences and the timing of such friendship could not have been more appropriate.  I admit, my life was headed in a downward spiral due to multiple situations in which I had zero control.  It was hard...and then I met this man whose energy and spirit has had a tremendous affect on me.

My friend's ferver for life and love for his job, which is basically  helping people and saving lives, is a quality in which I strive for in my own life. He is an amazing human being and I think everybody should have a person in their lives such as he is. 

A strong point is that he is Hindu and my curiosity into his religion was piqued, so I picked up a book and  learned about Hinduism.  Intriguing.  Hindus are incredible and peaceful people...their moksha something that I would love to obtain some day.  My friend has an aura of happiness surrounding him...and it is contagious.  It will be a sad day when we drift apart, being so busy in our own lives for one another, but right now, he's a great person to have around...

Happy 30th Birthday to this beautiful soul.

His little mocha face would probably turn beet red if he knew that I wrote all of this cheesy stuff about him...but he is definitely worth praising.  Definitely.

Elvis 5K - January 12, 2013

My friend, Monica, and I signed up for the 2013 Frozen Nose race series in Oklahoma City.  The requirements for this event are a 5K, an 8K and a 10K, one of which we completed last Saturday with the Elvis Run at Lake Hefner.

The race started at 9:00 a.m. and it was literally freezing the entire time we were out there.  My feet were so numb I could hardly feel them and don't get me started on my poor nose (hence the frozen nose aspect of the series, I suppose).  I can honestly say that the actual race was miserable...but better than running through the furnace that is an Oklahoma summer afternoon.

We managed to get through it and I finished the race in astonishing time--my fastest 5K on record...and I am currently in second place for the three race series. 

Here is a picture of my watch--that I got for Christmas--which accurately records time, distance, mile rate and calories.  Best gift ever!!!

Next race: Groundhog 8K on February 2nd.

Happy Running!!!

~Happy New Year - 2013~

A new beginning...new hope...new goals.

If everything goes according to plan, 2013 is going to be the best year ever for this Lopez girl...a fresh, new start.  I left all my baggage in 2012 and hope that my current journey is much better than the last.  My resolutions are short, but sweet, and my goals are bigger and brighter than ever before.

I celebrated the 2012/2013 transition with a great friend--one who has opened my eyes to a new world with his positive, laid back attitude.  A person whose hard work and dedication in life has inspired me to reach for greater things.  A man whose love and commitment to his family has made my heart swell.  A little Indian who is always smiling, even when he isn't aware of it.

How can a person NOT have a good year when it is started with so much positive energy??

Happy New Year...from a little Latina to you!

Naughty or Nice 8K - December 15, 2012

Over the weekend, Monica, Chanel and I ran in the Naughty or Nice 8K.  The most significant thing about this run that we did was it was my first 8K.  I have never run more than 5K, so this is very exciting.  Although my time wasn't great (I blame it on the fact that the illness that took over my body last week had not--and still has not--completely disappeared).  It was great practice as I recently signed up for my first Half Marathon, to take place in March 2013.

All very exciting stuff.

Anyway...the three of us DID dress up for this race.  Chanel was a candy cane (NICE), Monica was a stocking (NICE) and I was Coal (NAUGHTY NAUGHTY GIRL).  We didn't win the costume contest...but we looked pretty damn cute out there.

Here are the three of us together:



Here is a picture of Monica and Me...the Stocking and the Coal:

And finally...a picture of Monica and me after the race.  WE DID IT!!!   We were both 8K virgins!!!

Side note...the Gatorade I'm holding was probably the most delicious thing I've ever had.  It was gone so fast.

Reindeer Dash - December 8, 2012

My friend Monica and I participated in a Reindeer 5K two weeks ago as a fun event to keep us on our toes.  It wasn't very eventful and my time was not good AT ALL--I came in 6/20 in my age group.  Shameful...but it was a good workout, pretty windy and with a great girl. 

Here we are at the start of our race--we were some of the very few that didn't wear cute little Christmas socks or reindeer gear.

Bedlam 2012 - Oklahoma State vs. Oklahoma

This year's Bedlam game made my blood pressure sky rocket.  The entire game was either tied or Oklahoma State was on top--until the very end when it counted.   The game went into overtime--the first for Bedlam--and although Oklahoma State got a field goal in the end, Oklahoma pulled it off with an actual touchdown.  The only time Oklahoma was in the lead, the only time it really mattered.  What a crushing blow--wind out of sails.

As you can see from the picture above, my girls are all Sooners and I'm the only Poke.  I am very happy for them--but I would have been way happier if Oklahoma State won the game.  I must have gone into some sort of Okstate depression because I proceeded to get way too drunk for my own good and ended up having a horrible night--thank God I had a doctor to take care of me!  I actually don't remember taking the above picture--clearly, my tongue is sticking out.  Very sexy.

Here is what I originally looked like...I am very proud of my face decal:

I am a true and loyal Oklahoma State Poke to the end.  I love them cowboys!!!

Turkey Day 2012

Before the table was set with a massive amount of calories, a few friends and I dragged our happy asses out of bed to run the Oklahoma City Turkey Tracks 5K.  Despite the wind conditions and the incredible amount of hills, it was a great race and allowed a guilt free face stuffing later on in the day.  Pictured above are Monica, me, Julie, Eric and Stephanie...all of us medal whores!!!

Here is a close up of my medal and me.  I must brag and say that my time was under 30  minutes.  #Happiness.

Princess Chanel

Earlier this year, I met an amazing person.  Her name is Chanel.  She is funny, beautiful, outgoing and caring...and I would consider her to be one of my closest friends.  My partner-in-crime, if you will...and definitely one of my favorite people.

Chanel just had a birthday--turning the ripe 'old' age of 27.  SHE thinks it's old...but I am willing her to have the best year of her life.  It's going to happen and I'm going to be along for the ride!

We celebrated her birthday on three different nights.  The first was a night of her and me at Saints, a pub in the Plaza District in Oklahoma City.  Drinking and shenanigans ensued and let's just say...Chanel had a really great time. 

Our photo-op:

The next night--after her full day of recovery--was dinner at Iron Starr (um, YUM) and then out to McNellie's, a pub in Midtown.

Here is a pic of Chanel, me and her cookie cake at Iron Starr:

And a picture of our group--one of the best groups I've ever been a part of--at McNellie's:

Finally, on her actual birthday, we went out for wine and dessert at a place called Vin Dolce in Edmond.  It was a quiet night with four girls--my favorites ever! :)

Happy Birthday, Chanel.  xx

Pack Pint Running

Every Thursday evening, a locally owned business holds a small running event called the Pack Pint Run.  It is a 5K course that runs through a posh neighborhood called Nichols Hills and allows runners to set their own pace while outdoor training.  With the daylight hours becoming shorter and shorter, much of my fall/winter running is on a treadmill, so I enjoy this outdoor fun run very much.  Plus, each run ends with a pint of beer which isn't so bad...if you like beer. 

A couple of weeks ago was the first official 'night' run.  I run with my little running light; however, some people were ill prepared and glow sticks were handed out.  Here is a picture taken by the Red Coyote of the group for that night.  I really like it (and I'm in the front, crouched down with my bright light on my hand!!)

Weekend Update: October 19 - 21

This Lopez chicken had an incredibly busy weekend…it’s Wednesday and I’m still in recovery.


Friday night, one of my favorite people and I dressed up in our little German girl outfits and headed up to Tulsa, Oklahoma for Oktoberfest. We were two of, like, five people who dressed up on this chilly night—which resulted in exponential attention. We were asked to take pictures with people, for people…we were asked to dance…and some party goers thought we actually worked there, so we were asked where beer lines were. It was fantastic and a great time for a newly single girl! Here are a few pictures from our night:

Saturday—well I pretty much spent the entire day in bed with a massive headache. Turns out, I am EXTREMELY addicted to caffeine. I need to figure out how to wean myself off of it, but until then…$3.85 white chocolate mochas, nonfat with whip every morning! That evening, however, I went to Evil Dead The Musical with my friends Chanel and Roxanne. It was a really funny, cheesy show and I loved it. I especially loved being drenched in fake blood—thank Goodness Chanel had seen the show before and we were all equipped with ponchos!

Sunday was pretty chill. Chanel and I participated in an afternoon Ghostrunners 5K with her dog, Luna. It was October 21st, but it felt like the middle of summer, with hurricane force winds. I may be exaggerating…but only slightly. It was pretty rough and I haven’t run in so long that my timing sucked ass. I did a lot of walking. That wasn’t a proud moment for me. Nonetheless, here is a picture of Chanel, Luna, Chanel’s cousin and me pre-race.

So that was our weekend. #goodtimes

Dirty 30 - Zombie Edition / October 6, 2012 (Hinton, Oklahoma)

My friends and I tackled another 5K over the weekend--this time filled with obstacles, mud, frigid weather and *ZOMBIES*!!!  I was not looking forward to waking up early and driving an hour West to run in freezing weather.  One saving grace was the fact that the predicted rain never arrived--so we didn't have to worry about that.  The wind and the temp were pretty brutal though.

This Dirty 30 was set up very well.  The waves of runners were small, so it was neither crowded nor miserable and we didn't have to push through packs of people to maintain a comfortable pace.  The very first obstacle was a vat of mud, which all five of us bypassed to savor any warmth we had in us and then we moved on over hay bales, through tires and man made wooden contraptions, including giant and medium sized walls.  And, of course, we were chased by zombies trying to steal the flags off our belts.  All five of us ended the race sans flags--but we kept hold of them for awhile, zig zagging left and right through groups of 10 - 15 zombies.  It was great fun.

Here is a picture of the girls before the race. 

From Left:  Monica, Chanel, Roxanne, Me and Stephanie

Here are pictures of me DURING the race:

Here are post race photos.  We were freezing.  FREEZING.

Before this run, I had vowed not to participate in any more "fun" runs.  This decision was based on my two color run experiences and the Warrior Dash...HOWEVER, the organization of this particular Dirty 30 (and once we had warmed up by actually moving rather than waiting for the race to begin) has left the option open again.  I would be down for another mud run.  I would.